Honey and the Hubby !

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was
water in the carburettor." I said, "Where's the car?" She
said, "In the lake."
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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
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After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I
was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes,
dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than
to let him keep her.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to
interrupt her.
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My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I
got two girlfriends.
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The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that
you never get to prove it.
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A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said,
"I've found a woman just like mother!" His father replied,
"So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest
cheat in Europe
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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say, talk in your sleep
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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name
was Always.
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It's not true that married men live longer than single
men. It only seems longer.
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Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost
impossible.
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A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money,
a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful
woman-then, BAM!, it was all gone!" "What happened?"
asked his friend. "My wife found out...
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that
as both husband and father, I can say anything I want to
around the house. Of course, no one pays the least bit of
attention
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his
wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find
such a man.
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A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have
whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets
double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, "Okay,
give me a million dollars and beat me half to death."
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Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for
marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to
get your laundry done free.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is
to forget it once.
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Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is
packing your parachute
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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.
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