Santa n Banta Singh

Banta Singh went to the emergency room with
the tip of his index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked. "Well I was trying
to commit suicide," Banta Singh replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your
finger?"
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face
would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I
just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I
put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise,
so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.

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One foggy evening two Sardarjis went out walking.
One of the Sardarji was holding a flashlight,
and suddenly he said to his friend: "Why don`t you just
climb up this light-beam when I am holding the flashlight upwards like this?"
His friend looked at him and answered, "No, I can`t do that
Because if I did, you would just turn off the light, and I would fall down."

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A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily.
After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.
The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?"
To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai,
'Wash Basin' ".

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Santa Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
"Is this one one one one?", says the voice.
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Are you sure it isn't one one one one?"
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the
night."
"That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone
anyway."

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Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette.

He struck the first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't light.

He tried another. It wouldn't light.

The third one finally lit.

He lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.
"What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?"
"That's a good match. I'll use it again."

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A sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway asks

a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing
The bystander: A Marathon race is going on.
Sardar : What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Sardar : Then why are the others running?!

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Santa singh and Banta singh are employed in a

computer hardware store as movers. One day both of them are

asked to move some computers.
Santa Singh being energetic that day doesn't feel the

computer to be heavy at all.
At the same time he sees that Banta Singh is struggling

very hard to lift his computer.
At this Santa Singh says " What Banta, my comp has 500 MB HD and
urs has just 250, Even then u cannot lift it ???"
At this Banta Singh thinks for a while and replies "That's right,
but my HD is full and urs is empty"

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Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor
asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered,
"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up
the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But .. what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."

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Then there`s the one about the Sardarji who brought his binoculars to a funeral where
they were going to bury a distant relative of his...

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The Sardarji Doctor to his patient: "It`s very
important that you take this medicine exactly
30 minutes before you feel the pain."

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There were these two Sardarji twins who looked so
incredibly alike, that sometimes they borrowed money
from each other without the other really knowing about it.

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A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He
Goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.
Our sardar says, "I want my $20 million."
The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a
million Today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."
Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."
Again, the man explain that he would only get a million that day and

the rest during the next 19 years.

Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money!
if you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my
1 dollar back!"

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